A favorite ride of my childhood, the tilt-a-whirl was the ride my sister Phoebe and I had to go on whenever we were at a carnival or Adventureland. I remember at McCallsburg centennial her and I went on the tilt-a-whirl ten times in a row before dad called it quits for us. This past summer I had the opportunity to go to Adventureland for the first time in over 5 years with a group of friends. It was exciting to go on the rides I used to love as a child. My favorites were the Tornado (roller coaster), the Tilt-a-Whirl, the Galleon, all the water rides, and the big ferris wheel. Well on this trip I thought, what the hey, I loved these rides as a kid lets go on them. Well…. I thought I would never make this statement… Roller coasters and the tilt-a-whirl are no longer my friends… I felt so sick to my stomach after riding on the Tornado and the tilt-a-whirl I had to sit out on a few rides with Jake, Deb’s husband who also had the same reaction.
Putting that aside, I really thought about why I loved these rides. It is the thrill, the anticipation of the drops and unexpected turns, the adrenaline rush, the ability not to feel like you are going to toss your cookies. 🙂 The tilt-a-whirl, a love of my growing years is a fairly simple ride. It is a half egg seat in which a bar lays across your lap to keep you in the ride (not the safest if you think about it). The ride begins and the half egg seats you are sitting begin to go around in a circle up and down small hills. The best part of the ride is that each individual egg seat spins around on an axis while going around the big circle. Depending on your thrill factor you can make them spin fast or slow, we liked making it spin as fast as could. We would throw all of our weight to one side to begin the quick fast spin. A simple ride, but provided a ton of fun because it makes you dizzy.
Lately I feel like I have been stuck on these carnival rides. Some days it feels like I am permanently stuck on a roller coaster riding to the top of the big hill and plummeting down the big drop. Other days I am stuck on the tilt-a-whirl spinning around and around, faster and faster. My brain is just in a whorl wind of activity, it just can’t stay on one subject long enough to think it through, process and be done with it. Sleep has been a luxury, if the brain would calm down sleeping would be much easier. There are subjects I wish my brain would not entertain and others I can’t stop thinking about. Most involves my future and where I am headed, at times stuck on the past on how things were and wishing nothing has changed. Whatever it may be, I am just exhausted thinking about thinking.
I may feel like I am loosing my mind at times, but I remind myself daily that God knows what he is doing. I may feel like that I am stuck up a river with no paddles, but God is in control. He is faithful, he is just, he is all knowing. It will all fall into place, in his perfect timing to glorify him and his will. The pieces are slowly falling into place, but I am far from end of this path God is leading me down. I am trusting in God that where ever he my lead me, whatever I may experience, that he will always be there with me. He is listening to my heart, know my desires, and in his time he will provide.